It's Paintball Warfare
by Saint Ginger
Summary: Barbara arrives back to the cave to find it a mess and covered in paint. Based off of Community's Modern Warfare episode.


**Pairing**: Dickbabs  
**Rating**: T  
**Note**: Can also be found on my tumblr.

* * *

Barbara notices the Mount is that it's exceedingly quiet when she gets back.

Too quiet.

The redhead had stepped out for a couple of minutes and back to the Cave to pick up some extra Batarangs, where she had ended up getting held up by a phone call from her Dad. About an hour and a half later, she had returned to what resembled a war zone.

Pieces of furniture were flipped on over and thrown around the room, while the walls were splattered recklessly with broken pellets and streaks of bright, neon colors. The redhead narrowed her eyes as she entered the room and looked around, for any sign of her teammates.

Walking further in, Barbara was about to round the corner into the hallway when she heard a soft click from behind and a splatter of neon yellow paint hit the wall inches from her face.

She jumped away and spun around to find Garfield a couple of inches away, holding a orange paint gun in shaky hands and pointing it right at her chest. Barbara raised one of her eyebrows at him in confusion.

"Garfield what are you doing?" Barbara asked him.

She attempted to step closer but the paint gun snapped up and she froze as Garfield ordered, "Don't move"

"Gar, tell me what's going on" Barbara replied calmly.

"You of all people should know what's going on, didn't you hear Batman?" Garfield asked.

Barbara shook her head, "No, I missed it. What did he say? Cause all I see is just some dumb paintball game"

Garfield smiles and fires his gun, shooting the ammo towards Barbara (who was quickly able to dodge and flip away) till he runs out. Barbara soon lost her footing and slipped, hitting the floor and landing on her butt, as Garfield walked closer to her.

He chuckled as she attempted to get away via crab crawl, "Just a dumb paintball game. This is so much more than a paintball game BG. This is a war-last teammate standing gets the prize."

"Garfield, listen to me very careful, I can disarm you from here, so back off" Barbara ordered, putting her hand in front of her "And who exactly should care about this prize? I'm not playing anyway"

"What are you talking about?" Garfield stated, whipping out another paintball gun out from behind and Barbara's eyebrows rise up "Everyone's playing the game," he says, gun trained on her as she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the click.

Barbara heard the sounds of a paint gun firing, but she didn't feel the pellets hit her chest.

Opening her eyes, she found Garfield was the one who had been hit. Two splatters of neon colors on the chest, right over his heart, which meant he was now out of the game and Barbara was safe.

The thirteen year old pouted, letting out a noise of frustration, as let his arms drop to his sides, and releasing the paint gun in his hand before sulking out of the room. Barbara turned towards the doorway to see who had fired the gun.

"Zatanna?"

"Barbara" Zatanna replied, entering the room. She waltzing over to where Garfield had previously been standing. She picked up the gun and threw it over to her saying, "Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes"

* * *

"So, is someone going to tell me what's going on around here?" Barbara asked as she walked behind Zatanna in the hallway.

"How don't you know? Where exactly were you?" Zatanna questioned as she keeps staring ahead.

"I was at the Cave, picking up a few things"

"And it took you that long?"

Barbara rolled her eyes as they reached a closed door. Zatanna knocked on it three times, before entering a code into the keypad on the side. The door slid open and the two enter, where Barbara found stacks of paintball ammo on top of boxes.

She whistles at the sight of the room and a head appears from behind a box.

It's M'gann.

"Guess who I found wondering around the zeta-tubes" Zatanna says to her.

"Barbara Gordon" M'gann beamed at her as she floated over threw her arms around the redhead, squeezing her tightly, "I thought you were dead"

"Expected" Barbara replied, "I mean I do live in Gotham, I could have honestly been mugged and shot in an alley somewhere on my way back, so I guess it's only normal for people to-"

"I meant the game, idiot" M'gann snorted and Barbara blinked.

"I don't understand what's going on here" she told the pair "It's a paintball game"

"True," Zatanna says behind her, reloading her paint ball gun "A game of paintball with one rule: last man standing gets the prize."

Barbara cocked up an eyebrow and stared at the girls.

"What exactly is this prize?" she asks the pair, placing her hands on her hips.

"You honestly don't know?" Zatanna asked her, turning and looking at the redhead over her shoul

Barbara shook her head.

"An IOU" M'gann told her quietly "From Batman"

"That's it? A simple IOU?" Barbara questions with a laugh, "The only reason this place is ripped to bits and everyone's gone psychotic. It's all because of a simple-"

She stopped, mid-sentence as she her icy blue eyes go wide. The realization of what that dumb prize is and what she can do with it has just been deciphered. Her hand grips the gun tightly and suddenly to other two girls have their own ones trained on her.

"Take it easy, Red" Zatanna ordered calmly, taking a step forward.

"Do you even know what I could do with that?" Barbara announced, "An IOU from Batman himself. God, I've been waiting for something like this for years. I could do so many things with it"

"You could do a lot of things" M'gann added.

"Yes," Zatanna agrees, "And everyone wants that prize, and there's no way to share it, so the idea is that eventually we'll all turn on each other. But, we've gotten really good at working as a team and sticking together will increase our chances of making it to the end. So—"

"So we stick together till the end? Well, till where the only ones really?" Barbara suggested.

M'gann and Zatanna nod in agreement.

"There is also the whole, Bats is going to flip out when he sees the mess we made" Zatanna adds, "Then there is also the whole world could be in peril thing happening at any given moment. So it's best we have this done now, so things can get back to normal"

"Yeah" Barbara acknowledged, "So, everyone is doing this whole group thing?"

"The younger members went first, they're running in packs now" M'gann stated.

"Some of the Leaguers are in as well" Zatanna added, "I last spotted Raquel fighting Green Arrow and Canary in the kitchen, they've made paint bomb arrows and knowing GA aim, they're going to make it rain out there"

"What about the others?" Barbara asked, pulling off her hoodie and revealing her white, loose fit muscle tee as she checked how many pellets she had in her gun "Any of the older team members still alive?"

"You mean Dick?" M'gann asked, eyeing her from afar.

"No, I don't mean Dick, did I say Dick?" Barbara asked bluntly.

"Twice now, actually" M'gann pointed out.

There was silence.

"Yeah well...he's our boss. Might as well" Barbara justifies, covering her embarrassment with a small cough.

* * *

The group finds Robin in the kitchen, raiding the fridge for food. He looks a mess from the groups perspective, and Barbara can't help but pity him when she notices how exhausted he looks.

Even still, it doesn't stop her from presses her gun against the back his head. Tim quickly drops what he's holding and puts his hands up in a surrendering position.

"Friend or foe?" Barbara asked, eyes narrowed at the back of his head.

"I'm unarmed Babs" Tim answers her, "So I guess friend"

Barbara removes her gun from the back of his head and stepped back, allowing the younger protegee to get up. He turned to face the group, arms still up and frowned at them.

"Barbara, what are you even doing here?"

"Playing a game Robin, I'm playing a fucking game"

"Have you seen Dick?" M'gann asked.

"Nightwing?" Robin raised an eyebrow over at her, "No, not since we were attack by Bart and Jamie. Why?"

"We're looking for him" Barbara told him.

"Actually, BG is the one looking for him" Zatanna corrects, "Were just teaming up with her to take out others"

"Zee" Barbara hissed over her shoulder, "Please"

Zatanna shrugged and went back to checking the room for any others hiding out. Barbara turned back to Tim and said "Where did you last see him?"

"Last I checked, he was heading towards the Mission Room" Tim told her.

"Girls" Barbara turned to face the others, "Were heading to the mission room. Let's go"

* * *

M'gann was lost on the way.

A surprise ambush from La'gann and Cassie ended up with her taking pellet to the back. Zatanna is able to avenge M'gann in the shootout and hit La'gann, but Cassie flew out of the room before anyone could get her.

That left only Barbara, Zatanna and Tim, who ended up getting M'gann's gun and a spare clip after she left.

"Bathroom break" Zatanna announced, heading into the locker room bathroom when they passed it.

"Keep an eye out" Barbara turns and tells Tim, "Shout if anything happens"

Tim nodded and Barbara headed into the lockers after Zatanna. She stood guard outside of the stalls, kicking them open and quickly scanning for any Team members hiding inside. No one was hiding out in any of them and Zatanna soon leaves her own stall to wash her hands.

Barbara's about to tell Zatanna that the room's clear, but the lid of the garbage can pops off and two paintball guns are pointed at her and Zatanna as Conner jumps out. Barbara quickly jumps into defense mode, her own gun flying up in front of her.

"Conner" Barbara nods to him.

"Nice to see you BG" Conner replies.

"Rob?" Barbara yells over her shoulder, "You okay out there? Cause I need kind of need your help"

The door opens and Tim slowly makes his way into the room, hands up in the air above his head as Barbara spots Dick standing right behind him, a paint gun trained on the back of his head.

"Little busy right now" Tim tells her.

"Babs, I suspected you were still alive" Dick smiles at her.

Barbara smirks back, "Having fun in the girl's room?"

"Yeah, never knew you girls were serious about your personal hygiene, the room practically sparkles" Dick replied, playing along.

"Pervert" Barbara comments rolling her her eyes, "Wanna join alliances?"

Dick laughed, "Not gonna happen"

"So you two are just going to camp outside of the bathroom then entire time?" Zatanna raises an eyebrow at the two.

"It's been working out for us pretty well" Dick replies, "We were able to take out Karen while she washed her hands"

"If you join us we'd only be going up against the babies, everyone else is out" Barbara tells them, "They wouldn't stand a chance against any of us"

"Thanks guys" Tim comments, "Really nice"

Barbara ignored him as she continued, "If we get to the mission room, I can tap into the security fees and find out where they are. After that, we can easily take them out"

"What about after?" Conner asked them.

"Well...everyone for themselves really" Barbara replies with a shrug.

Conner and Dick exchanged glances, before slowly lowering their guns.

"Fine, but only till the end" Dick tells them.

* * *

"If I win, I'm keeping the IOU for a while, you never know when something like that will come in handy" Barbara states the group.

Barbara had been able to hack into the CCTV but half of the video fees had been wiped, which made it impossible to find the younger members.

When they realized they would have to search for them, the group decided to take a quick break and sat themselves in a circle, behind a small fort they had created from most of the furniture in the room, snacking of power bars Tim had snagged from the kitchen and chatting.

"I'm gonna get him to let me take a vacation" Conner tells them, "As nice as the Mount is, I'd like to actually visit a place I'm not there to save"

"I'd get him to give me a chance" Tim confesses, "Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even want me around"

"You know what," Dick announces to the group "I say if one of us wins the prize, we give it to Tim"

"Agreed" Zatanna says and Barbara looks over at Dick, eyebrows raised and eyes wide, in complete shock at what she's hearing around her.

She shakes her head, "What? No, Zee no. You don't have to do that"

Dick glances over at her, "You don't want to help him?"

"I don't mean that" Barbara barked pinching the bridge of her nose, "I'm just so tired of you trying to guilt-trip us into being as chivalrous as you are. Tim doesn't need your help. He's a grown boy and I mean, are you kidding me? Bats didn't accept me as being Batgirl for a pretty damn long time, okay? I had to earn it, and so does Tim"

"Still here" Tim grumbles to himself quietly from where he's sitting across from them.

"I'm not guilting anyone, BG," Dick says, his brows knitting together as he glares at her "You don't have to give your winnings to him, you can do whatever you want. I'm just trying to be nice"

"Oh come on" Barbara says, "You're guilting me right now"

The sounds of guns being drawn are heard as the pair look over to see Zatanna and Conner have their paintball guns out in front of them, Zatanna at Barbara and Conner at Dick.

"Maybe they'll shut up if we take them out" Zatanna deadpanned.

Barbara put her hands up, "Okay hold-"

She was cut off by the sound of a loud clang from a paint pellet hitting metal outside. The group jumped up and turned to face the doorway.

"What the hell?" Conner asked before a splatter of orange hit his chest.

Cassie flew out, dropping to the ground in front of them and firing her gun. Behind her Bart, Mal and Jamie came in, as the others quickly ducked down and began firing at them. Barbara keeps her finger snugly around the trigger as she fires at the younger members.

It seemed to resemble a massacre as the groups fought. Cassie, Bart, Mal and Jamie were all new and inexperienced against the older members. Mal was easily taken down before he could reload his gun and it was only a couple seconds after that Jamie went to.

It wasn't all good, Tim got taken out after Bart sped up behind him, shooting him in the back, and Zatanna was sacrificed when she exposed herself to hit Bart.

After that, it was pretty easy for Cassie to be taken out. Dick had sprint across to the room, distracting Cassie long enough for Barbara to hit her in the chest.

As the younger members exited the room, Dick and Barbara shared a high-fived of victory, only to notice Tim lying on his back right after.

Dick quickly ran over and dropped to his knees next to Tim, crouched over his body.

"I'm going home, Dick" Tim told him sadly with a soft smile.

Dick nodded, "I know Tim, I know"

"No really" Tim lost the smile, "I'm really going home. Can you help me up?"

"Oh, oh okay, right" Dick backed up and help Tim back onto his feet.

He then begins leaving the room with Zatanna and Connor, most likely to get to the Zeta-tube and head back to the manor.

"I'm going to win that prize for you Rob" Dick shouts after him, as he leaves.

"That's nice" Tim replied over his shoulder.

"I'm gonna win that prize, but not for you" Barbara tells him.

"That's not nice" Tim answers sadly.

The pair watches their friends leave, and are about to go, when Dick looks down and notices something on Barbara's white shirt.

"Oh my God, Babs you've been hit" Dick points to a patch of pink on her.

Barbara looks down and lets out a small "Oh no", quickly pressing her long fingers against the patch, and wincing slightly as she pulls them back.

"Oh no it's just blood" she sighed with relief as she looked over at Dick, "Thank God"

* * *

"This is out of control" Bruce stated, "They're making a mess out of the Mount and we're here to stop disasters, not create them"

Wally West was lend up against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest, watching as he the Bat paces from side to side in the main room of the Watchtower.

"If you put me in the game, I can end it now" Wally tells Bruce.

"You aren't on the Team anymore Wally" he replies.

Wally shrugs, "I used to play paintball three times a week, still got some of my old equipment at the house. Put me in and I'll have this over in an hour. After that, everything will be back to normal"

Bruce sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, before looking over at the speedster and asking, "You sure you can do this?"

* * *

The two end up in the med bay, where Barbara takes of her shirt and lies down on one of the medical tables with her arms under her head as she lets Dick begin cleaning out the wound.

"Thanks for patching me up, Boy Wonder" she thanks, sitting up on her elbows as Dick places some gauze on her stomach when he had finished.

"Any time" Dick replies.

"You know Karen and the girls would go crazy if they knew about this" Barbara told him, "You know the two of us, patching each other up and staring deeply into each other's eyes"

"Moment's away from kissing" Dick added.

"It's a miracle our clothes are still on" she responds.

"God the things they think up" Dick tells her.

Barbara laughs, "I swear half of it sounds like the beginning of a horribly filmed porno"

Dick lets out a laugh as he puts away the first aid kit and walks back to sit down next to her.

"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier" Barbara tells him, "I know you were just trying to be nice to Tim and I acted like a complete asshole to you"

Dick shook his head, "No you were right"

"No, I was wrong" Barbara states, "You are a god forsaken saint Dick, I swear you're the frickin boy scout of Gotham"

"Are you kidding me? Barbara you are probably the sweetest, strongest, most caring person I know. I mean the things you've done for all of us are amazing, you've been the one to keep us all sane in the worst scenarios" Dick explains.

"Mine's nothing compared to all the good you've done" Barbara tells him, "You care about people and I put you down for the sake of making myself not feel like a bitch"

"Barbara" Dick takes her hand in his, "You kept me sane after my family died, you made me laugh for crying out loud. Doing something like that for someone is the greatest amount of good I can think of. End of discussion"

"Oh we are clearly moments away from doing it" Barbara suddenly say, leaning back and resting her body back on the med table.

"Those girls really have it stuck in their heads that we're gonna do it?" Dick asks.

Barbara nodded, "You be surprise"

"We'd probably be doing them all a massive favor if we did" Dick tells her.

"Oh, I think the sexual tension is overflowing" Barbara told him, sitting back up and moving her head closer to Dick's, "I don't. Think. I can. Hold it. Any. Longer"

"Neither can I" Dick replied jokingly, but his mouth is suddenly on hers.

* * *

"Well, that was fun" Barbara commented, wiggling back into her jeans as she and Dick enter the next room, "Really relieved some stress. I liked it"

She turned back to face Dick to grab her tee back from him, but all she got was her eyes crossing over at the sight of a paint gun barrel up against her forehead. One Dick is holding up to her, a smirk sitting on his perfectly carved face.

"Did you have sex with me for the entire sake of winning?" Barbara asked, tilting her head to the side slightly and looking at him.

"No, I had sex with you, and now I'm going to win at paintball" Dick corrected.

"I'm impressed, didn't know if you could live up to your playboy title" Barbara teased, beginning fiddling with a belt loop, "So, did it...mean anything to you, at all?"

Dick's eyes softened, and the hand holding the paint gun faltered slightly, "Did it to you?"

She shook her head, "No, not really"

Barbara watched as Dick's jaw clenched and his eyebrows tilt down, as he pulled the trigger.

Nothing. Nothing happened. The gun just clicked and revealed an empty barrel as Barbara watched Dick's eyes widened in shock.

"Looking for this?" she asked, pulling out the paint ball clip from her back pocket.

"H-How did you-?" Dick started.

Barbara's smile grew as she replied triumphantly, "While you were doing maneuver 7 on me"

Before another word could be uttered, Barbara spotted Wally walk into the room out of the corner of her eye, armed with a large machine gun in one hand and Tom Cruise ray-bans over his eyes.

Dick and Barbara threw each other a quick look before running and quickly taking cover. Both flipping over pieces of furniture as Wally opened fire on the pair, peppering the already splattered walls with more neon paint. Dick and Barbara can't help but crouch lower and wait for the shooting to stop.

"Congratulations Gothamites" Wally acknowledged sarcastically, taking off his ray-bans and throwing them to the side "You'll be happy to know you're the final two"

"You aren't even on the Team anymore West" Barbara shouts at him from behind the table, sending blind shots over her shoulder.

"Founding member of the Team with Dick and Kaldur, biatch" Wally yells back, opening fire again.

"Damn-it" Barbara curses under her breath, "I'm so tell Artemis about this"

Dick scoots over to her, grabbing her wrists as he orders in a hush whisper, "Give me my clip"

"What? No, I'm not stupid"

"You got the drop on me, you win. Let me do this for you"

Barbara opened her mouth to say something back in protest, but Dick growls and his lips are suddenly on hers. The palm of his hand ends up on the back of her neck, her soft curls between his fingers as he pulls her closer to him

When he pulls back to breath, he has the clip back and he shoves it back into the paint gun.

"Good luck" he tells her, with a wink, and hops over the couch.

Dick and Wally end up taking each other out at the same time, each one of them ending up with a splatter of paint on their chest. Once that's over, Barbara got up from behind the table and grabbed the machine gun from Wally's hands as he lied on the floor.

As she starts out of the room, Wally started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asks, turning to look at him an annoyed expression on her face.

"That there is no prize" Wally tells her, continuing to laugh, "You really think Batman would really give you an IOU? He'd never follow through with it, you of all people should know that"

Wally then opens his jacket and lets it fall to the side, showing off a makeshift paint bomb sitting inside, one that's starts ticking down from ten- nine- eight- seven- six-

"Jokes on you Barbara" he tells her and goes back to laughing.

Barbara shares one last look with Dick before she sprints out of the room. The second the sliding door shuts behind her, the sound of the bomb going off and paint splattering the wall on the other side is heard.

* * *

She finds Bruce in the Watchtower, after hacking into the main computer system and tracking him down. She's exhausted by now, but somehow still alive (she even past a colorful Dinah and Ollie on her way in).

When Bruce sees her, he merely sighs.

"Well, you seem to be in a good mood" he comments.

"B, I'm standing here, in a bra and jeans, exhausted" Barbara shot back in a hiss, "Pointing a paint gun right at you, don't. Joke. With. Me"

"What do you want?" he asks.

Barbara lifts the paint gun and fires, hits his cowl right smack in the middle, splattering yellow paint all over it.

"You know what I want" she states, "A little IOU"

* * *

"Hey" Dick smiled at Barbara when he saw her enter the cave with Bruce, "Congrats on winning"

He had taken a shower before she arrived and was in the midst of drying his hair with a towel as he sat on the edge of the Batcomputer in a wife beater and jeans.

Barbara noticed a bit of dried yellow paint behind his ear and motioned behind her own, saying "You got a little bit-"

Dick wiped a finger behind his ear and rubbed the paint between his fingers, before rubbing the towel there to wipe the rest away.

"Thanks" he thanked her.

"Anytime. Paint looks good on you" Barbara commented, walking further into the cave.

Dick let out a laugh as Bruce headed past the pair and up the stairs, to go and talk to Tim. Barbara slumped down the chair next to Dick and let out a exhausted breath, looking up at her friend and smirking.

"So, what happened to West?" she asked, sitting up slightly.

"He calmed down once it was over and I took him home, Arty was pretty pissed when she heard what he had been doing" Dick replied, throwing her a clean towel, "Wally was even a little bit of a sore loser on the ride back"

Barbara laughed and threw the towel around her neck to rest on her shoulders as she rested her head back and took a couple of deep breaths.

"So, how long you planning on keeping that IOU, now that you won?" Dick asked her.

"I gave it to Tim" Barbara pointed her finger over her shoulder and up the stairs, "Bruce is going up to talk to him now"

"That's nice of you" Dick told her.

Barbara shrugged, wiping her forehead with the corner of the towel "I can be sweet when I want to"

"So I was thinking, about last night..." Dick trailed off.

"Nothing happened"

"It didn't happened, not that it was a mistake or anything, it just never happened"

"Yeah, it was a night filled of crazy paintball passion"

Dick nodded, "Yeah just tension relieving, nothing else"

"Absolutely, and we don't even need to tell anyone about it" Barbara told him standing up from the chair and sticking out her hand, "Agreed"

Dick took it and the pair shook hands, with a couple of awkward nods added from each. Barbara then took the towel off from around her shoulders and began heading towards the stairs.

"I'm going to go take a shower and head home" Barbara turned around and told him walking backwards, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep, see you" Dick gave a small wave as she headed up them.

She stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back to look at Dick, asking "So, just to make sure, we're agreed. Nothing happened...at all?"

"Yeah" Dick replied, nodding with a small disappointed smile that Barbara couldn't notice from where she was standing, "Nothing happened"

Barbara was silent for a moment, before finally nodding and saying "I can work with that"

They'll work with that, for now.

* * *

**I might do a little M rated fic from the scene in the med bay since I was planning on doing it origianlly, but now I might just do it on the side. Don't know yet.**

** Thanks for reading and please review.**


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